Visiting grandma and batman boy’s favorite toy is the stair-stepper. He’s been playing on it for going on 3 hours now…Is it wrong that I’m jealous of his motivation?
Instead of fries last night he wanted celery and instead of asking for Cocoa Puffs this morning, Batman Boy wanted “the cereal with almonds in it.” Score 1 for mom!
Came home at lunch to find this note taped to the microwave. This love equation works out to be -311 times infinity. Talk about the ultimate romantic mathematical backfire.
Riddle me this, Tumblinas. How is it possible that a man who can barely adequately bathe himself (“yeah babe I showered. I just didn’t use soap ” <fart> <grunt> <burp>) can clean a stove-top like its his job? I arrived home from my 5:15am workout to find my fiancee cleaning - yes, cleaning - and my black usually-caked-in-last-night’s-dinner stove top that hasn’t been clean since we moved in 2 years ago is glistening (is it sick that this causes instant euphoria?).
I notice, however, that the burner covers are missing. There’s only so many places they could be, right?
Dishwasher.
Fucking brilliant.
Here I’ve been handwashing those fuckers every Saturday morning for 2 years. He does it 1 time (at the butt-crack of dawn, no less) and gets it done quicker, easier, and better than me (insert audible gasp here).
His stroke of genius just changed my life forever - I will never again wash those by hand; hell, I may never ever clean the kitchen again. That’s his job.
Too old for this $h!t
Thesahmmy is on to something…and now the proof just keeps coming like addicts to a crack house - more reasons God is definitely a man? Im 30YO and have a PMS zit like I’m 16 and it’s one week before prom.
(I’ll spare you the photograph. And YOU are WELCOME)
Tonight Batman Boy said I had better ask Santa for a baby BOY so he can have a brother and capped it off with “ugh please just don’t have a girl. You can’t have a girl because she won’t look like (My Best Friend).”
My Best Friend is the daughter of my fiancée’s best friend’s sister. She is 3 going on 30, is a total sassafras, and giggles at EVERYTHING Batman Boy says and does.
God help me, they are going to have children with perpetually Bad Hair Days (can u see the curls? One of these days he’s going to have to use a brush)…
